Celebrity Bucket List

Cheryl Cole recently revealed her near-death scare after contracting malaria in 2010 prompted her to create a Bucket List of her own. The large rose tattoo that has been the centre of controversy was one of the items on her list, she shared with Graham Norton on his show in June. However, she did give it rather a different name, which we won’t discuss here! The concept is the same, a near death experience encouraged her to start living life to the full and realise that life is short so make the most of it while you can.

Image from elleuk.com

It is easy to get bogged down in the chores and worries of everyday life; I know this from first-hand experience. But creating a Bucket List is a good way of focussing on what we want to achieve in our lives and what would make us happy. Whether you want to travel the world or bake your favourite cake, there’s no time like the present.

One famous Bucket List is that of John Goddard, an anthropologist. He created a list of nearly 130 adventures at the age of 15 and is well on the way to completing them with over 100 currently crossed off! From reading the works of Shakespeare to climbing the highest mountains, he has achieved a number of life goals that many of us can only dream of. Why not create a mini list today and attempt to cross them off by the end of the year?

Image from telegraph.co.uk

We want to know what is on YOUR Bucket List! Let us know on Twitter or Facebook #bucketlist

Mother's Day 2014

Image from etsy.com

Mother’s Day is fast approaching for people in Britain and Ireland, falling on the 30th March. However, across the globe it is celebrated on a number of dates throughout the year. Whatever the date, the message is still the same- take the time to honour your mother and let her know that you love and appreciate her.

For those who have lost their mothers in one way or another, this day will be a little harder than for most. Below is a touching and emotional quote from someone who has experienced this loss first hand:

“It may be painful to realise that your Mum isn't there on a day which focuses so heavily on the role and importance of a mother no matter how long she has been gone. But we can still be thankful that they gave us life and for the time we spent with them. We can still celebrate them in our own way. After 24 years I still think about my Mum every day in some small way. It could be when I'm talking to someone and her voice comes out of my mouth or if I hear The Stylistics or The Sweet! Terrible taste in music! It can be when I'm using one of her recipes or looking at photos. I like to think that a part of her lives on in me; the part that makes me a good mother and that's why I still wish her Happy Mother's Day in my own way.”

How about making a Bucket List for your kids of things you would like them to do, achieve and experience? You can work through this together, helping them tick off items and it can also act as guide if you are no longer with them. If you are lucky enough to still have your mum around, don’t just celebrate the special occasions, make memories with them while you can.

 

Poem written by Rebekah Night

 

Whether it is taking your Mum out for Sunday roast or looking back on fond memories, this day is prominent for many people. What will you being doing for Mother’s Day? Let us know on Twitter #MothersDay

Schools Carousel a Roaring Success

Last week we visited a primary school on a ‘schools carousel’ to talk to children about our jobs and to give them a chance to ask us any questions they may have. We were accompanied by a number of different representatives of businesses and public services, all interested in helping children find out information about their careers.

However, we were initially concerned about talking to children about death and dying and wanted to do so in an appropriate way. The response from the children was remarkable; they were open about the subject and actively engaged in a ‘name the animal skeleton’ quiz which they of course, found fascinating. They were extremely excited to write on our ‘bucket list’ postcards with chalk and discussed not only career aspirations but things that they would like to do in their lives, from deep sea diving to swimming with sharks!

 

Bucket List Postcard

 

Whilst many of the questions they asked regarded salary or length of working hours, there were a few fantastic questions such as ‘do you find your job emotional?’, which demonstrated that children are far more aware of issues surrounding death than adults often give them credit for.

As adults, we are reluctant to talk to children about the subject of death and dying, in an attempt to ‘protect’ them. However, this venture proved that children are resilient and do not approach these topics with the same taboo attitude that is ingrained in to adults in Western society. Of course it is always important when talking to children about death to adhere to appropriate conversation, but it should not be avoided and brushed under the carpet.  Through talking openly about death at a younger age it will ultimately make it more normal and lead to better awareness of end of life care options for people with terminal illnesses.

 

Death in Disney Films
Image from clubecandoca.com

 

Death can be a scary subject, but it happens to us all. Every day children see death and dying in Disney films, cartoons and video games, so we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it with them. For an interactive and light way to introduce the topic, why not head down to one of our events at the World Museum during Dying Matters Awareness Week, from the 12th – 18th May. There will be ‘Meet the Mummy’ sessions for both adults and children on Saturday the 17th at 1pm, 2pm and 3pm and a ‘Day of the Dead Drop In’ from 1-4pm on Sunday the 18th. It was inspiring to see one little girl in particular, frantically writing down the dates of these events; she will no doubt be asking her parents to take her there! And we hope to see you there too!

 

For more information on events we are hosting in Dying Matters Awareness Week, contact us at amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk or find us on Facebook and Twitter.

The Privilege of Preparing For Death

33 year old Rowena Darby has already written out a card for all of her son’s future birthdays and Christmases, his graduation and for his wedding.

She has terminal cancer, and said that she has no interest in creating a bucket list of things to achieve before she dies; she just wants to be a good mum to her son Freddie.

Rowena was bored in hospital whilst having her treatment, so went to a craft fair with her mum. She ended up buying a kit and making bracelets which she now sells for £10 apiece to save money to take her son on holiday. She then started to make all of the cards, which span right through all of his future birthdays and Christmases and even include his future wedding and graduation. She is also planning to compile a book of all the emails she has written to him.

Rowena has a very humbling view on her terminal diagnosis. “I’m privileged that I can prepare for my death - if I was in a car crash there would be none of these memories for Freddie.

“When I die it’s going to be awful for my family but at least they know it’s going to happen and because of this we’ve had the best quality time together beforehand.

“I know a lot of people in my situation create a bucket list but I just want to be a mum and do normal stuff with my son.

“There is nowhere I want to go - I just want to have a normal life with no regrets.”

Her view that she is privileged to be able to prepare for her own death is extremely inspiring. Part of our project is to encourage people to realise that we are all going to die and that we should all be preparing for death; but preparing for a death that one knows is imminent is a very different experience.

If you received a terminal diagnosis, how would you prepare for your death? Would you want to cross off the items on your bucket list, prepare your family for a future without you like Rowena, or something else all together? Let us know on Facebook, Twitter or email us.

Before I Die, I Want To...

During Dying Matters week in May, we were very excited to launch something that has never been seen in Liverpool before. We put a chalk wall in an empty shop in the beautiful India Buildings, and asked people to tell us what they want to do before they die.

"Before I Die..." is a project started by artist Candy Chang. She struggled to cope with her bereavement after losing someone close to her, and was looking for a way to channel her grief. She painted the side of an abandoned house with blackboard paint and stencilled it with a grid of the sentence "Before I die I want to________" and left some chalk. People passing by would pick up pieces of chalk and add to the board. By the next day, the board was bursting with people's lift aspirations and wishes of the things they'd like to achieve in their lives. Candy realised she wasn't alone in trying to make sense of her life, and felt a great sense of consolation.

She found that people were asking her to help set one up in their local area, and she began to send out toolkits all over the world. The global Before I Die project was born, with people in all over the world doing their own walls and uploading them to the Before I Die site. There are now over 200 walls in 15 different countries.

We decided that there was no better time to launch one in Liverpool than Dying Matters week. We worked closely with Liverpool Commercial District BID who helped us to secure an empty shop in the beautiful and historic India Buildings on Water Street. Our creative Project Manager Rachael managed to work around the conundrum of not being able to drill an actual chalkboard up anywhere, and made one out of black paper that we could take down and replace when it got full.

We managed to almost fill our wall on the first day it opened, and we noticed that hardly any of the responses related to material things. We'd expected to see "before I die I want to own a Ferrari" or "own designer clothes" but most of what people wrote was about family, happiness and experiences. Some people were reluctant at first to write when gently coaxed by us to come in... but as soon as they had a piece of chalk in their hand they said it had really made them think about the things they'd like to accomplish.

Here are some photos of the two chalk walls we ended up filling before it was closed on 3rd June:

The sign outside our beautiful shop

Mini chalk boards

We have our very own mini site for the chalk wall over at Before I Die, where you can view more photos and a bit about the project: Before I Die: Liverpool

Unfortunately our wall closed on 3rd June. We are currently looking into ways to keep it alive all over Liverpool, and we'd love to hear any ideas if you think you know where we could put one. If you had visited our wall when it was open, what would you have written on there?

Welcome to The Bucket Project

Hello!

Welcome to The Bucket Project's brand new blog. We are a community project based in Liverpool aiming to open up conversations about death, dying and loss, and breaking the last taboo around death.

You can find out more about us and what we do using the links at the top, and you can download our newsletters. If you'd like to join in the conversation, there are links to our Facebook and Twitter in the sidebar. In the coming weeks, this blog will feature write ups of what we've been up to, things we've been thinking about and even some guest blogs - so if you'd like to write for us, get in touch.

Last week we hosted a very successful Dying Matters week here in Liverpool. This week we'll be writing about our fabulous community chalk wall that we launched in India Buildings, our conference and the various other things we got up to... watch this space!