Day of the Dead "Mexico" Celebrations

November 2015

Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos, is a Mexican holiday typically celebrated on 1st and 2nd November. The purpose of these days is to celebrate and remember those that have died. Too often, we don't get the chance to talk about our loved ones who have passed, as some people shy away from what they perceive to be "morbid." Keeping the memory alive of those important to us can help with the grieving process, no matter how long it has been. We learn to live with our grief and trying to forget about the dead doesn't often help. We provide a safe space to remember, chat and leave a memorial photograph on our beautifully decorated altar.

Photograph from our November 2014 celebration

The tradition of honouring our ancestors and remembering the dead has a long standing history. All Souls' and All Saints' Days are observed on the same dates as the Day of the Dead. In modern times, people continue to create colourful altars adorned with photographs of departed loved ones, paper flowers, decorated skulls, candles and offerings of food that the deceased enjoyed whilst saying nice things and sharing happy stories of the deceased.

Our hand-decorated sugar skulls, mug and snow globe

These events help recognise that death is a natural part of the human experience; a continuum with birth, childhood and growing up. On these days, the dead re-join the community to share in the celebrations with their loved ones. We want to remember the dead throughout the year and will be organising a number of events at various locations.

Our next Day of the Dead celebrations are connected to Mexico. The prestigious venues have either a recent exhibition, or have just had one linked to Mexico. Recently, the World Museum was the only UK location to host the Mayas exhibition - you can find images of the fascinating objects that were on display here: Mayas: revelation of an endless time.

Liverpool Central Library are hosting Frida and Me: an exhibition about Frida Kahlo, who died in 1954 at the age of 47, and who is widely regarded as one of the most important artists of the 20th century. Using Frida’s self-portrait as the main axis and guide, children will be able to question themselves about notions of their own life, and while playing, can get involved in several notions of art.

Both celebrations are completely free and suitable for all ages. These events could be a useful way of talking about death with children in a positive and friendly atmosphere with tools to help and direct your conversations. 

The first Day of the Dead event is on Saturday 28th November 2015 at Liverpool Central Library from 1-3pm.

Liverpool Central Library

Photograph taken from Wikipedia

The second event is on Sunday 29th November 2015 at the World Museum from 2-4pm.

World Museum Liverpool

Photograph taken from Wikipedia

Alongside our colourful altar will be a craft stall where you can decorate your own frame. Bring along a photograph or send us one in advance and we'll print it for you. We'd love it if you would also share a story about the person who died to accompany their photograph. Please email Rachael for more information.

Decorated frames on our beautiful altar

Make Your Wishes Known

 

 

Whilst listening to a popular radio programme, I heard a feature that indicated the amount of organ donors has decreased for the first time in a number of years. I thought that it would be helpful to include some of the information we have recently produced and collated from a number of leading sources on organ donation. It is important to make your wishes known and to record them or you may not be able to donate, even if you want to.

 

 

Excerpts from our ‘5 Things To Do Before You Die’ booklet:

 

Modern medicine has made it possible for us to donate healthy organs and tissue to those in need after we have died. Transplants depend on the generosity of donors and their families who are willing to donate to enhance the quality of someone else’s life. It is possible that one donor can save or improve the lives of a number of people.

 

Why it is important to make a decision

Deciding whether or not to become an organ and/or tissue donor is an important personal decision. If you think this is something you would like to do, it is a good idea to add your name to the organ donor register and share your decision with close relatives or friends. If you are not registered, when you die, your next of kin will be asked whether you would have wanted to be a donor so it is essential that they understand your wishes.

 

By joining the register you are giving legal consent to the use of your organs and tissue for transplantation after your death if you are considered as a viable donor.

 

Exceptions

There are certain exceptions that may prevent you from becoming an organ donor, such as being diagnosed with HIV or CJD (a brain condition). If you have other medical conditions you can still join the register and a doctor will determine if your organs are suitable for donation. Becoming part of the register does not necessarily mean you will become a donor as this depends on the viability of the organs and circumstances of death. But the more people that join the register, the higher the chances of helping someone in need.

 

It is possible for you to specify which organs you are willing to donate if there are certain elements you are not comfortable with them taking. You must tick the appropriate boxes on the organ donor registration form or donor card in these circumstances. In the case of cornea donation there is currently an upper age limit of 80 years, and for the donation of heart valves and tendons there is an age limit of 60 years. However, there is no upper age limit for joining the register to donate other organs and tissue, viability is determined by condition.

 

You can join the NHS Organ Donor Register by:

 

• Filling in a form online at www.organdonation.nhs.uk
• Calling the NHS Donor Line on 0300 123 23 23
(lines are open 24 hours a day all year, charged at your local rate)
• Text SAVE to 62323

 

You can also join when you:

• Register for a driving license
• Register at a GP surgery
• Register for a European Health Insurance Card (EHIC)
• Apply for a Boots Advantage Card

 

Make sure your family and loved ones are aware of your decision.

 

For more in-depth information, please visit the NHS Organ Donation website listed above. There is a comprehensive list of frequently asked questions and guidance on how to join.

Impact Survey

The Bucket Project began engaging the community of Liverpool around the topic of death in 2011 and are currently funded until March 2016. As we progress, we need to develop different ways to monitor our impact and effectiveness.

If you are aware of The Bucket Project, have attended an event, picked up a newsletter or found us online - we ask you to spare 5 minutes of your time to complete our Impact Survey, either online by visiting Survey Monkey or downloading the document from our Downloads page and returning to us either by post or email.

Your 5 minutes could help us evidence the need for an engagement project like ours, which helps people become more comfortable talking about end of life and death. We can also find out what works best, and what doesn't, so we can make the best use of our time.

Thank you in advance. Even by reading this far means that The Bucket Project has reached you.

Holocaust Memorial Day 2015

Image taken from hmd.org.uk

Yesterday was Holocaust Memorial Day, which marked the 70th anniversary of the liberation of the Aushwitz-Birkenau concentration camp. Candles were lit in Liverpool Town Hall every day on the run up to memorial day.

 

Not only are there events this month in remembrance of those who died during the Holocaust but people who were killed in genocides in Bosnia, Rwanda and Darfur. Across the UK people are ensuring that future generations never forget the awful persecution that so many have faced in the past. Take some time to search for events in your area and read the stories of those who were wrongly persecuted during the Holocaust. Whilst almost 6 million Jewish people were murdered in the death camps, other groups were targeted such as the disabled, political rivals and homosexuals amongst many more. Altogether almost eleven million people were murdered under the Nazi regime.

Image taken from flickr.com

This is still a significant event for many today and there is an obvious national grief. Through this grief we can educate people about the horrors populations have been subjected to in the past and in some places, are still being subjected to today. The only way to move forward is to learn from the past and never forget what happened during each of the genocides that took place.

 

There are a number of events being held this January to remember those who were lost during this time of great suffering, including a number of film screenings and talks at the Museum of Liverpool. Follow this link to find out what events are being run by the National Museums of Liverpool: http://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/events/holocaust-memorial-day-listings.aspx

 

Search online for events happening near you throughout January and February.

Celebration Success!

Our Day of the Dead Altar @ Maya

The Day of the Dead Celebration on Sunday was a fantastic success. A number of wonderful people turned up with beautiful photographs of loved ones they have lost. They placed them on our altar surrounded by flowers and food offerings to celebrate and share stories of their departed loved one’s lives.

 

Some of the beautiful photos brought by attendees to the celebration

 

Once everyone became acquainted and enjoyed the delicious food at Maya and our homemade cookies and cupcakes, we each chose a card from our Dead Good deck of cards. Images on the cards relate to a subject surrounding death, dying and loss which people presented their interpretations of and shared personal experiences with the group.

 

It was inspiring to listen to the stories of people who have dealt with such loss and grief but manage to bring a positive and heart-warming outlook through sharing touching memories of those they have lost. Part of a discussion I was involved in brought up an interesting point about how uncomfortable people can feel when remembering funny instances and events in a deceased person’s life; that it is somehow disrespectful to speak about these moments. However, more than one member expressed that sometimes wit and comedy were at the heart of the loved one’s personality and pushing aside these memories is denying a part of who the person was.

 

Some of our lovely attendees

Day of the Dead teaches us that whilst we are hit with tremendous grief at the loss of someone close, through sharing stories, we can keep their memories alive and remember how they touched our lives.

 

At the end of the celebration, we all shared a tequila toast to the loved ones who have passed. In that moment it was comforting to know that whilst all of our experiences with death are unique and individual to us, we all experience it in one way or another.

 

Tequila toast

 

The Bucket Project would like to thank everyone who attended the celebration.

O Captain, My Captain…

Image from forevermagicmovies.blogspot.com

Many people will have awoken today to find out the upsetting news that actor Robin Williams has died. After suffering bouts of depression, it is suspected that he took his own life in his Californian home yesterday morning. He leaves behind a wife and three children, who our hearts go out to at this difficult time.

 

Robin Williams was best known for his superb talent in acting, allowing him to assume a wide variety of roles, capturing audiences around the world. Some of his most notable and memorable works are Good Will Hunting, Dead Poet’s Society and Mrs. Doubtfire, no doubt favourites of many a family. He was an actor that inspired many people through the characters he played, bringing a certain unique charm that filled you with hope and warmth.

 

Is it odd that we mourn celebrities that we have never personally met? This death will certainly affect a number of people whose only connection with him is watching a film through a television screen. It seems those we so regularly invite into our homes through a film or series become akin to that of extended family. We are also reminded that no one is immune to death, grief and loss, it happens to everyone, even the celebrities we so often idolise. I certainly haven’t escaped without shedding a tear for an actor I have grown up watching, an actor who has contributed to the shaping of my childhood through his portrayal of the genie in Aladdin, to Alan Parrish in Jumanji.

 

Image from cineplex.com

Much like talking about death is a taboo, talking about mental health is somewhat of a taboo in our society as well. Often when people need help the most, they are unsure who to turn to, but there are a number of UK charities that can support people suffering from a wide range of issues. ‘Mind’ is a nationwide service that provides advice, information and support for individuals and families regarding mental health. You can visit their website HERE.

 

There has been an outpouring of grief and remembrance on Twitter over the last 24 hours, with #RobinWilliams and #depression being in the top 10 trending hash tags. He was a kind-hearted man who inspired us in so many ways and will surely be missed by all of those who knew him.

Happy Belated Father's Day

Image from liagriffith.com

Happy belated Father’s Day for yesterday, to those of you lucky enough to have spent the day with someone close to you. Father’s Day is a time where you can take a moment to show a parent that you care. Whether you have a father, a father figure or are one yourself, we should make the most of every day and let the ones near us know they are loved, special and contribute a great deal to our lives.

 

Yesterday however, will have been a very difficult day for many people across the world whose Fathers are sadly no longer with us. I was close to losing my own father two years ago and was lucky enough to be given a second chance to tell him how special he is and how much I appreciate everything he does for me and the rest of my family. Unfortunately, a family close to my heart recently lost their father, a man who was often the centre of attention and always the life of the party. I am sure Father’s Day will have been extremely difficult for them, though I hope they were able to reminisce about the good times spent together as well as mourning their loss.

 

Enjoying quality time with my dad
Image by author

In time for Father’s Day, Marie Curie started a #DadMemories campaign, encouraging people to share memories of their dads accompanied by a picture. They are asking for donations to ensure more fathers are 'fathers for longer' and help those with a terminal illness to spend their final days surrounded by the people they love. Hundreds of people joined in to share their love and respect for the important men in their lives, you can view the pictures at http://www.pinterest.com/mariecurieuk/dadmemories/ .

 

Even though officially it was Father’s Day on Sunday 15th June, why not continue showing the people we care about that they are important? Let’s take a moment out of our busy schedules to let someone know we appreciate them, whether it is a Father, Mother, sibling, partner or friend. You might just brighten their day.

 

Marie Curie is launching the Blooming Great Tea Party 2014 this month. Find out how you can get involved and host your own tea party HERE.

What did you do for Father’s Day? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.

A Successful Dying Matters Awareness Week!

Dying Matters Awareness Week 2014 was a fantastic success for The Bucket Project, with a number of events held across a wide range of venues. We met some very interesting and insightful people along the way who have been helping us to keep the topic of death alive. In case you didn’t get the chance to visit any of our events, here’s what happened during the week.

 

Monday 12th May

 

There were two launch events, at the Central Library and the Walker Art Gallery debuting our Remembrance Tree and ‘life’ and death’ interactive lettering, respectively. It was fantastic to see so many people contributing to our displays, building a better picture of what life and death means to the community in Liverpool. A number of school groups got involved and enjoyed writing and drawing on the 4ft lettering throughout the week, leaving some valuable interpretations.

 

Life and Death Letting @ The Walker Source: Author

 

Over four hundred people wrote touching messages to their departed loved ones and placed them on our Remembrance Tree. We made the tree out of recycled paper and packaging tape and printed a popular poem called ‘Dust if you must’ by Rose Milligan on the back of the leaves. We are currently discussing how the leaves will be displayed in the future. If you didn’t get a chance to leave your message to a loved one on our tree, don’t worry as we are planning on touring it around a number of popular venues in the near future.

 

Remembrance Tree @ Central Library Source: Author

 

Tuesday 13th May

 

On the second day of Dying Matters, we held a ‘Dead Write’ workshop at Central Library, where we discussed a wide range of topics and assessed how death, dying and loss is incorporated in works of poetry and ways you can approach this subject yourself. We were working in partnership with The Windows Project who facilitated this session. There was a small turnout for this particular event; however the discussion was fantastic, with members reading their own excerpts of poetry to the group and suggesting ideas for future work.

 

The ‘Death in Art’ tour took place at the Walker Art Gallery in the afternoon with many people extremely excited to learn about pieces of art on display that had themes of or were inspired by death. This tour then finished at our interactive lettering display, sparking discussion about life and death and the role that art can play in the formation of our interpretations.

 

Death in Art Tour @ The Walker Source: Author

 

In the evening, we rounded off Day 2 with an exclusive tour of the Science Fiction: New Death exhibition at FACT. This intriguing display dealt with themes of death in the future and was closely linked to the development of technology. This exhibition is open to the public until the 22nd of June 2014.

 

Wednesday 14th May

 

For Day 3, we held another ‘Dead Write’ session at the Central Library. We also met some interesting people at our information stands throughout the different venues, where our promotional pens were a hit, alongside our specially designed day of the dead coffin bookmarks. It was wonderful to see so many people filling in our chalk wall inspired cards, which asked ‘Before I die I want to…’ and 'In my life I want to...', producing some interesting results! From travelling the world, to finding the one, everyone has their own goals and dreams.

 

Thursday 15th May

 

Day 4 of Dying Matters Week and a busy one at that! We held another Death in Art tour followed by our very first Life and Death Café at the Walker, discussing elements of life and death whilst eating nourishing food and drinking delicious tea and coffee. It is always an enlightening experience, discussing such an important topic with like-minded strangers. You never leave without having learned something new about the world and how different people perceive death.

 

People enjoying the Death in Art Tour @ The Walker Source: Author

 

Friday 16th May

 

One of my favourite events was the Vintage Tea Party we arranged to inform people about what is happening in their local Marie Curie Hospice, Liverpool. This event was a huge success with staff, patients, volunteers and visitors enjoying our homemade cakes and free refreshments. People who don’t often come in to contact on a daily basis had a chance to get to know each other and the roles each of them play in the hospice. It was refreshing to hear patients talk about how they appreciated many different services the hospice provides, such as complementary therapy. This conversation gave us an insight in to the still prevalent issue that people do not know what services are available to them until they are in a vulnerable position. We believe that it is an essential part of the project to not only break down the taboo around talking about death, but to inform people in the community of what care and end of life care options are available to them, even if they are not necessary at the present time.

 

Some of our delicious homemade cakes at the Vintage Tea Party @ Marie Curie Hospice,
Woolton Source: Author

 

We continued serving homemade cake throughout the evening at our Life and Death Café at Siren, 54 St James Street, to celebrate Light Night. Not only was the venue beautiful but we met sixteen amazing people, from a diverse range of backgrounds who came together to discuss the topics of life and death. So many subjects were discussed, from archaeology and complementary medicine, to the symbolism of colours and the feelings they provoke inside us.

 

Our fantastic Life and Death Café discussion group @ Siren Source: Author

 

Saturday 17th May

 

It was an early start for the penultimate day of Dying Matters Awareness Week in The Garden at Fact by Leaf. We hosted a ‘Dead Good Cookie Decorating’ session for children and parents. We had some superbly decorated day of the dead- style cookies that tasted just as good as they looked! Have a peek at the pictures below to see some of the weird and wonderful designs!

 

A creatively decorated cookie
Source: Author

Decoration in action! In The Garden @ FACT by LEAF
Source: Author

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We then strolled over to the World Museum where two ‘Meet the Mummy’ sessions were taking place. These were unique performances specially opened to the public for this occasion, providing an insight in to the ancient world of Egyptian practices of mummification with the children taking centre stage, playing the roles of embalmer, high priest and Anubis.

 

Sunday 18th May

 

What could be better than a celebration for the final day of an amazingly successful Dying Matters Awareness Week? In partnership with the Treasure House Theatre at the World Museum, we put on a ‘Day of the Dead Drop-In’ where nearly seventy people attended to make masks and put a wish on the Mexican Wishing Tree whilst listening to Dia de los Muertos music.

 

Day of the Dead Drop-In celebration @ The World Museum Source: Author

 

All in all, this week was a fantastic success, with our events reaching roughly 700 people directly and potentially reaching in the region of 380,000 through our very own Rachael McKindley being featured on the BBC Merseyside Drivetime show throughout the week! Taking in to consideration visitor numbers to each venue, we estimate to have reached over 400,000 people with this years Dying Matters theme 'You Only Die Once'. We are extremely grateful to our many partners who made the events possible and thank our members and the public who continually support the project and help keep the topic of death alive.

 

Why not become a member? Email us at amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk and be the first to find out about our upcoming events! You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Journeys and Developments

I am pleased to announce we will soon be launching a new page on the blog, which will feature guest reviews of films, books and events with themes regarding death, dying and loss. If you would like to get involved and have your review featured, email your name and review to Amy.King@mariecurie.org.uk or contact us via Facebook or Twitter. 

Image from abucketlist.com

We have also recently uploaded our ‘Attitudes toward Death, Dying and Loss’ survey to the blog, which you can find under ‘Downloads’ or fill in online by clicking HERE.

As you may know, yesterday was Holocaust Memorial Day. People across the country attended events in remembrance of the persecution of Jewish and other communities by Nazi Germany in the Second World War. They also gathered to remember the 20th anniversary of the genocide that took place in Bosnia in 1994. 

The national theme this year was Journeys. There are millions of individuals who were affected by the holocaust and each of them had their own experiences and journeys through horrific times. It is important for future generations to remember and recognise that these events can never happen again. However, there is still discrimination and injustice happening in the world every day, which we should remember not only on a designated date but all year round.

Image from www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

The Museum of Liverpool hosted a special day of events to mark the Holocaust Memorial on Sunday 26th January. Although this event has been and gone, year round you can explore Jewish Community history in Liverpool through a self-led trail around the museum.

What did you do for Holocaust Memorial Day? Let us know at @Bucket_Project

From Our Newsletters: Disturbing Disney Deaths

Did you know we have a series of newsletters you can download from the Newsletters tab? Every so often we will re-post an article from past newsletters. Here's one from our Spring 2013 edition about the dark side of Disney films...

Disturbing Disney deaths 

You might think that kids' movies would gloss over the less pleasant sides of life, in an effort to shelter children's innocence for a little while longer. But Disney has other ideas! Death is a common theme in many Disney films, and sometimes those deaths are pretty brutal.

Ursula's Stabbing, 'The Little Mermaid'
Take Ursula's death in 'The Little Mermaid', for example, she's the bad guy of the film, so she has to go somehow. But did she really have to die by getting impaled on the jagged front edge of a sunken ship? And then she gets electrocuted too, just in case you thought she might survive getting stabbed directly in the gut.

Judge Doom Gets Dipped, 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'
Judge Doom from 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' is one nasty character. He is the main judge in Toontown and gets his jollies by punishing wrongdoing toons, preferably by killing them with his special Dip substance called.

When it's time for Doom to get his comeuppance, he first gets run over by a steamroller. Then, he stands up, flaps his paper-like limbs on over to an air pump, and blows himself back to relative normalcy. How is he even still alive? As it turns out, he's a toon, just like the ones he's killed with his dastardly Dip.
Thus, we get not only one horrifying death scene for Judge Doom, but two: he inevitably falls victim to his own creation, screaming like a banshee as he melts in a puddle of Dip.

Ray Gets Squashed, 'The Princess and the Frog'
It's one thing when the bad guys get taken down in the final act, but it's much more heart breaking when it happens to one of the good guys. In 'The Princess and the Frog', the talkative Cajun firefly named Ray meets his demise much sooner than anticipated.

What happens to the poor little critter? Well, he gets stomped to death! Never has the crunch of a dead bug brought so many tears!

Emily Binx and the Sanderson Sisters, 'Hocus Pocus'
Though 'Hocus Pocus' is arguably the best and most beloved children's Halloween movie ever made, we can't honestly claim that it's an entirely innocent endeavour. A creepy zombie cuts open his mouth and coughs up dust and leaves, and a cat gets flattened by a speeding bus. But even those scenarios aren't the most disturbing moments in the film!

In the beginning, the Sanderson Sisters kidnap an adorable little girl, tie her up to a chair, and proceed to suck the life-force out of her until her body lies dead and limp. Then, as a punishment for this terrible deed, the three witches are hanged in front of a town full of onlookers. Disney definitely isn't afraid to go dark!

Oogie Boogie Falls Apart, 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'
In Tim Burton's 'The Nightmare Before Christmas,' Oogie Boogie's demise is a rather disgusting one. As Jack Skellington grabs onto one of Oogie's loose strings, his sackcloth "body" unravels to let out his innards - thousands of disgusting bugs.

Ellie Grows Old, 'Up'
Lastly, this Disney death isn't as gruesome as the rest, but it still has the ability to absolutely destroy a viewer's hopes and dreams. Of course I'm talking about Ellie from 'Up,' who kicks the bucket less than ten minutes into the film.

First, though, we're treated to Carl and Ellie's love story. As they grow up, they build a happy life together. Then, Ellie grows old, gets sick, and dies.

Even if they don't get eaten by a wild animal, impaled on a spike, or hanged from a tree in the forest, people get old and die. Thanks for the reminder, Disney!

These are just a few examples of how we are exposed to death from a young age. We shouldn’t be scared to talk about it – even to young children.

There is a range of information available on how to talk to children about death with age appropriate literature. Child Bereavement UK, the Alder Centre, Marie Curie, Macmillan and Liverpool Bereavement Service are just some of the places that could help.

We’re working on a collaborative initiative around Bereavement policies in schools with a number of partners – watch this space for news or contact us if you want to get involved.

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

On the last Friday of May, we headed down to Parklands School in Speke to take part in South Liverpool Housing's Neighbours Day.

We were extremely lucky with the weather - the sun was scorching even at 10am when we arrived to set up!   We had a stall with all of our new merchandise on there; mugs, badges and our brand new tote bags and trolley coins.

Neighbours Day was a brilliant opportunity to meet people living in Speke and the surrounding area, especially people not in a healthcare setting who may not know about who we are and what we do. We gave away all of our bags within half an hour of it being open and had to go back to get more - so if you spot anybody walking around with our logo on a bag, let us know!

There were all sorts of activities going on like a mini funfair, free massages and even a stall with snakes, rabbits and owls being flown about! We got free massages and emerged back to our stall feeling very floppy and relaxed.

We struck up lots of conversations with people who seemed to be mainly tempted by the goodies on our stall... We quickly find that everybody has a personal experience of death or losing someone, and a quick conversation starter like one of our newsletters or a bag can prompt a chat with even people who think the idea is all too morbid at first. That's what our project is all about, and it's so rewarding to see our brightly coloured branding and tongue in cheek newsletter articles doing their jobs well. A particular favourite moment of ours was asking a lovely young boy what he wanted to do before he dies, and expecting him to say something like "own a Ferrari" or "play for Liverpool" he completely shocked us by saying "to make my family happy". Our Community Chalk Wall showed us that quite often people tend to concentrate on family, experiences and happiness rather than gaining material things.

Halfway through the day, Merseyside Police pulled up behind us with their van and laid out all their uniform and riot gear for people to try on... Lucy couldn't resist playing dress up!

It was great to chat to so many people and get our message out there to some local residents. Watch this space for information about events we're attending in the future, pop along and say hello and we might give you one of our highly stylish bags!

Before I Die, I Want To...

During Dying Matters week in May, we were very excited to launch something that has never been seen in Liverpool before. We put a chalk wall in an empty shop in the beautiful India Buildings, and asked people to tell us what they want to do before they die.

"Before I Die..." is a project started by artist Candy Chang. She struggled to cope with her bereavement after losing someone close to her, and was looking for a way to channel her grief. She painted the side of an abandoned house with blackboard paint and stencilled it with a grid of the sentence "Before I die I want to________" and left some chalk. People passing by would pick up pieces of chalk and add to the board. By the next day, the board was bursting with people's lift aspirations and wishes of the things they'd like to achieve in their lives. Candy realised she wasn't alone in trying to make sense of her life, and felt a great sense of consolation.

She found that people were asking her to help set one up in their local area, and she began to send out toolkits all over the world. The global Before I Die project was born, with people in all over the world doing their own walls and uploading them to the Before I Die site. There are now over 200 walls in 15 different countries.

We decided that there was no better time to launch one in Liverpool than Dying Matters week. We worked closely with Liverpool Commercial District BID who helped us to secure an empty shop in the beautiful and historic India Buildings on Water Street. Our creative Project Manager Rachael managed to work around the conundrum of not being able to drill an actual chalkboard up anywhere, and made one out of black paper that we could take down and replace when it got full.

We managed to almost fill our wall on the first day it opened, and we noticed that hardly any of the responses related to material things. We'd expected to see "before I die I want to own a Ferrari" or "own designer clothes" but most of what people wrote was about family, happiness and experiences. Some people were reluctant at first to write when gently coaxed by us to come in... but as soon as they had a piece of chalk in their hand they said it had really made them think about the things they'd like to accomplish.

Here are some photos of the two chalk walls we ended up filling before it was closed on 3rd June:

The sign outside our beautiful shop

Mini chalk boards

We have our very own mini site for the chalk wall over at Before I Die, where you can view more photos and a bit about the project: Before I Die: Liverpool

Unfortunately our wall closed on 3rd June. We are currently looking into ways to keep it alive all over Liverpool, and we'd love to hear any ideas if you think you know where we could put one. If you had visited our wall when it was open, what would you have written on there?

Guest Blog: Stare Death In the Face and Play It Awesome Music

Image © Christina Owen

Here is the first in our series of guest blogs. We're very excited to present a fantastic blog from Christina Owen; ambulance worker, photographer and friend of The Bucket Project:

Stare Death In the Face and Play It Awesome Music
Christina Owen

Sometimes I think about my funeral. I want everyone to wear bright colours and I know exactly what songs I want played too (Good Riddance by Green Day and Take On Me by Reel Big Fish in case you wondered). Cake will be served afterwards and everyone will, of course, cry and say how great I was. It will be a beautiful day, and if the sun doesn't shine then I'd like it to tip it down with rain all day long.

You may think it's a little morbid to picture my funeral when I'm still young and in excellent health (I'm 29 and fit and well). But the truth is that death is often a difficult subject to avoid in my line of work. I work on an ambulance, and I rub shoulders with the sick and the dying most days of the week. Sometimes I stare death in the face, literally. And when you do that for a living, as anyone working in a healthcare profession will know, you develop quite an upfront attitude towards death. Because it's happening, whether we like it or not. At some point, whether it be a long way off or sooner than we think. It's one of those things that no one gets to escape, no matter how long and hard we hunt for a Philosopher's Stone or a really, really good BB cream. It's probably pretty easy to pretend death isn't coming for you in your day to day life - unless you spend your day to day life working in a hospital or like me, on a moving mini-hospital. And then it's a little harder.

So, I plan my funeral in my head and hope that when the time comes, I will write some of it down and have some level of control over it. But I know that really, I could fall down dead and not get a chance to put anything in place. And then an awful song might get played at my funeral and I will have to just live with it (or die with it more accurately). You hear about the slightly comical situation in which a normally healthy person suddenly clutches at their chest and lets out a groan and then turns up their toes without another word. But here's some news you may not expect (and that I certainly didn't expect the first time it happened in front of me): it really does happen. It’s like - a thing. Falling down dead. I'm not saying it's time to start making a will right this second (although you’re never too young and it’s never too early) but it does mean it's okay to think about these things. You like to have a certain level of control over your life, right? After all, it's YOUR life. What about your death? It's really okay to think about these things, and talk about them too. Keeping the subject all taboo and hush-hush isn't going to make it go away.

Sometimes, for fun (!), I sit down and think about what I might die of based on what my grandparents died of. I roped my housemate into this game once too, and the evening ended with us announcing 'heart disease!' and 'cancer!' like we were playing Top Trumps. Then we laughed about it. Because, why not right? If I was suffering with one of these diseases, I like to think I could still laugh about it. Because again, being all sombre isn't going to make it not happen.

In my job, I regularly come into contact with people who are living with illnesses that will eventually kill them. I won't lie - it's difficult to know what to say to them, or what tone to strike. Often, they dictate the tone, and I find that more often than not, they make jokes. Octogenarians (or older!), whether healthy or sick often wag their finger at me as if scolding me and tell me 'don't get old!' and we chuckle, and I say 'I'll try not to!' We smile at each other, and it is usually a sad smile, because one of us knows they have nearly reached the end and the other knows they will one day be in the same boat.

If you CAN see death coming then amid the jokes you may or may not make, it's a good idea to start planning for it. Make a will so that your family are well protected after you've gone. Get a DNAR (Do Not Attempt Resuscitation) if that's what you want, otherwise should you drop dead in the street one Tuesday morning whilst out shopping, green-clad people like me will turn up and start jumping up and down on your chest like there's no tomorrow. You may not want that, and this is where the Do Not Resuscitate Order comes in. It gives you some dignity and it might reassure your family too, so talk to them about it. That way, when we turn up in our ambulance, they can wave the document in our faces, and we'll stand down immediately. Discuss death with your GP. Discuss it with your family and friends. Make the jokes if you want, or be really sombre about it - it's your prerogative. After all, it's YOUR death. And like life, you can approach it how you will. And like life, approach it loudly and unashamedly. Because like life, it WILL happen.

It's okay to be afraid of death. It is scary. I get scared about it every day (and I don't mind admitting this to my patients. After all, there's no point pretending to be a robot, right?). But don't be afraid to talk about it. And don't be afraid to tell everyone what song you want at your funeral, and what sort of desserts you want. Mine is loud American ska-punk and double chocolate. What's yours?

Christina also co-runs a blog at 100Happy, which is all about finding the little moments of happiness in life.

Welcome to The Bucket Project

Hello!

Welcome to The Bucket Project's brand new blog. We are a community project based in Liverpool aiming to open up conversations about death, dying and loss, and breaking the last taboo around death.

You can find out more about us and what we do using the links at the top, and you can download our newsletters. If you'd like to join in the conversation, there are links to our Facebook and Twitter in the sidebar. In the coming weeks, this blog will feature write ups of what we've been up to, things we've been thinking about and even some guest blogs - so if you'd like to write for us, get in touch.

Last week we hosted a very successful Dying Matters week here in Liverpool. This week we'll be writing about our fabulous community chalk wall that we launched in India Buildings, our conference and the various other things we got up to... watch this space!