Remembrance Events in Liverpool

28-29th November 2015

Our Day of the Dead celebrations are taking place this weekend in Liverpool City Centre at the Central Library and World Museum. Over the road at St George’s Hall, you can also pay your respects and view the beautiful poppy installation, Weeping Window, which will be on public display until January 17.

Photograph taken from Liverpool Echo

Remembering the dead can be a community experience, and although it may not appear to be everybody’s cup of tea, around 150,000 people came to see the poppies at St George's Hall in the first week they went on show. This astounding number is more than all of the people who saw the Weeping Window installation on show at a Northumberland museum over seven weeks.

Paul Cummins, who created the sculpture with designer Tom Piper, paid tribute to the people of Liverpool in a letter to the ECHO. He said: “I was so overwhelmed and delighted by the impressive display of Weeping Window at St George’s Hall. I was especially taken aback at the way that people of Liverpool have taken the installation to heart, showcasing their appreciation for the project and the install of Weeping Window itself.”

Weeping Window initially formed part of the larger installation, Blood Swept Lands and Seas of Red, which was on display at the Tower of London in 2014. Every ceramic flower represents a life lost by British and Commonwealth forces in WWI.

The display at the Tower of London

Photograph taken from Defence Imagery MOD

So if you’re in the city this weekend to see the Weeping Window, do a bit of shopping or visit one of the many attractions Liverpool has to offer – then call into Liverpool Central Library or the World Museum. Keeping the memory of late loved ones alive is a positive way to deal with loss. We don’t talk about the lives of the dead comfortably enough, and just because they’re gone from our view, doesn’t mean they are gone from our hearts.

Photo from The Bucket Project 

Bring along a photograph for our Day of the Dead altar at either event and we’ll have some frames available for you to use. Take time to personalise yours at our special craft station. If you haven’t got a photo we can use, you and any children you bring, may like to draw a picture, colour in or just write a few words. 

Photo from The Bucket Project 

Day of the Dead "Mexico" Celebrations

November 2015

Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos, is a Mexican holiday typically celebrated on 1st and 2nd November. The purpose of these days is to celebrate and remember those that have died. Too often, we don't get the chance to talk about our loved ones who have passed, as some people shy away from what they perceive to be "morbid." Keeping the memory alive of those important to us can help with the grieving process, no matter how long it has been. We learn to live with our grief and trying to forget about the dead doesn't often help. We provide a safe space to remember, chat and leave a memorial photograph on our beautifully decorated altar.

Photograph from our November 2014 celebration

The tradition of honouring our ancestors and remembering the dead has a long standing history. All Souls' and All Saints' Days are observed on the same dates as the Day of the Dead. In modern times, people continue to create colourful altars adorned with photographs of departed loved ones, paper flowers, decorated skulls, candles and offerings of food that the deceased enjoyed whilst saying nice things and sharing happy stories of the deceased.

Our hand-decorated sugar skulls, mug and snow globe

These events help recognise that death is a natural part of the human experience; a continuum with birth, childhood and growing up. On these days, the dead re-join the community to share in the celebrations with their loved ones. We want to remember the dead throughout the year and will be organising a number of events at various locations.

Our next Day of the Dead celebrations are connected to Mexico. The prestigious venues have either a recent exhibition, or have just had one linked to Mexico. Recently, the World Museum was the only UK location to host the Mayas exhibition - you can find images of the fascinating objects that were on display here: Mayas: revelation of an endless time.

Liverpool Central Library are hosting Frida and Me: an exhibition about Frida Kahlo, who died in 1954 at the age of 47, and who is widely regarded as one of the most important artists of the 20th century. Using Frida’s self-portrait as the main axis and guide, children will be able to question themselves about notions of their own life, and while playing, can get involved in several notions of art.

Both celebrations are completely free and suitable for all ages. These events could be a useful way of talking about death with children in a positive and friendly atmosphere with tools to help and direct your conversations. 

The first Day of the Dead event is on Saturday 28th November 2015 at Liverpool Central Library from 1-3pm.

Liverpool Central Library

Photograph taken from Wikipedia

The second event is on Sunday 29th November 2015 at the World Museum from 2-4pm.

World Museum Liverpool

Photograph taken from Wikipedia

Alongside our colourful altar will be a craft stall where you can decorate your own frame. Bring along a photograph or send us one in advance and we'll print it for you. We'd love it if you would also share a story about the person who died to accompany their photograph. Please email Rachael for more information.

Decorated frames on our beautiful altar

So Long, Farewell...

I (Amy) am writing today to say goodbye to The Bucket Project and our supporters; I am moving on to another role within the Marie Curie Hospice. It has been a privilege to work on this project and I have learned so much. I have met so many interesting people this past year and a half and would like to thank each and every one of you for discussing such a difficult topic with me and sharing your experiences.

 

The work the project undertakes is so important because it is essential that people try and plan for the future and be able to discuss the subjects of death, dying and loss. Whilst I am sad to be leaving, I am sure that whoever takes my place will bring their own creativity, flair and imagination to help progress the project.

 

Here are some of my favourite moments:

 

  

 

 

 

 

Thank you for this experience and remember, help keep the topic of death alive in Liverpool!

Photograph Appeal

 

The Bucket Project will be touring their Day of the Dead Celebration around Liverpool and would like you to contribute a photo of your late loved one. Add to our altar of touching pictures and memories and ensure your loved one is remembered.

 

We want to encourage people to share their happy memories of departed loved ones and remember them for the person they were. We shouldn’t be afraid to remember the good times after someone close to us dies, we should cherish the time we did have with them.

 

Our Day of the Dead Celebrations provide a comfortable space in a social setting where people we have loved and lost can be discussed freely. Participant have said others can block conversations about those who have died, for fear of being morbid or depressing. When we gather to celebrate lives that have passed, it is with a feeling of peace and nostalgia blanketed in heart-warming memories.

 

The Day of the Dead altars are colourful and bright, decorated with paper flowers and patterned skulls. You can design your own frame or send us your picture and we’ll frame it for you. We do ask that you also send us the person’s name and a little bit about them to go on the back of the frame. To find out when our next events take place, become a member of The Bucket Project and receive regular updates, by simply sending us your email address.

 

A touching photograph brought to our November
Day of the Dead Celebration

A tribute written on the frame

If you would like to make a contribution to our Day of the Dead altar, you can email your photographs and stories to rachael.mckindley@mariecurie.org.uk. Alternatively you can post, or drop off, a copy of your photo with text, to:

 

The Bucket Project
Marie Curie Hospice Liverpool
Speke Road
Woolton
Liverpool
L25 8QA

 

Please do not send us original photographs as we may not be able to return them to you.

Analysis of 4ft Lettering: Dying Matters 2014

After Dying Matters Awareness Week 2014, The Marie Curie Institute undertook an analysis of our display at The Walker Art Gallery. Members of the public were invited to ‘Write or draw what symbolises ‘Life’ and ‘Death’ to you on our Hollywood style lettering’. The aim of the analysis was to gain an insight into peoples’ perceptions of death (and life) in order to inform public engagement techniques to normalise the topic of ‘death’.

 

Here are some excerpts from the findings:

Background

Within the context of Western Society, advances in medical science have simultaneously reduced the incidence of childhood and early adult deaths and extended life expectancy. One result of such advances has therefore been to delay personal experiences of death and dying into midlife (House of Commons Health Committee, 2015). Further, since the foundation of the National Health Service (NHS) in the United Kingdom (UK) in 1948, an increasingly paternal, medicalisation of death and dying has resulted in more deaths now commonly occurring in a hospital setting, which has further removed ‘death’ and ‘dying’ from general society (House of Commons Health Committee, 2015; Mellor and Shilling, 1993).

 

The philosophical underpinnings of the meaning of 'life' and 'death' have been much debated over time. 'Meaning of life' seeks to understand the purpose of human existence within a broader metaphysical context over and above individual human contributions (Horne, 2013). Given the shift towards an individualistic focus this makes ‘meaning of life’ contemplations difficult in a traditionalist/religious vacuum. ‘Meaning in life’ on the other hand could be expressed in terms of subjective views that individuals' lives have purpose through the activities undertaken, which may provide pleasure and happiness (Wolf, 1982; Sigrist, 2015).

 

In May 2014, the National Museums Liverpool (NML) hosted an interactive, public exhibition, consisting of individual lettering, spelling ‘LIFE’ and ‘DEATH’. Members of the public were invited to write comments directly on to the lettering and these comments and illustrations were recorded verbatim and made available to the Marie Curie Palliative Care Institute Liverpool (MCPCIL) at the University of Liverpool to enable a form of qualitative Content Analysis of these public contributions to be undertaken.

 

The aim of this report is to provide a qualitative analysis of these contributions (written and illustration) in order to gain an insight into peoples’ perceptions of death (and life) with the purpose of informing future public engagement techniques to ‘normalise’ the topic of ‘death’. As previously discussed, it is envisaged that contributions will be more focused on ‘meaning in life’ than ‘meaning of life’. Further, those contributions to ‘what symbolises ‘life’’ will include but may not be limited to: purposefulness; happiness; self-actualisation; youthfulness; and health. Similarly, it is envisaged those contributions to ‘what symbolises ‘death’’ will include but may not be limited to: ambiguity; fear; frailty/old age.

Engaging the public

The Bucket Project representatives were present for an hour or more each day that the exhibition was active and they engaged in conversations with the public about the Bucket Project, Dying Matters and the lettering display. They gave a background to the project and inquired whether people would like to contribute. Other people also contributed to the display without personally talking to the representatives, though they may have taken leaflets/newsletters from the display stand.

The results of this content analysis concur with the hypothesis in that the written contributions largely related to ‘meaning in life’ over ‘meaning of life’ reflecting a priority of purpose for individuals over broader human existence perspectives. This focus on the ‘self’ was evident by the significant proportion of written contributions which reflected individuals’ names. Whilst these were reflected on both ‘life’ and ‘death’ lettering they were more frequently noted on the latter, which may support the individualistic ‘meaning in life’ perceptions in a reduced traditionalist/religious framework.

 

Similarly the frequency of the acronyms ‘YOLO’ (i.e. You Only Live Once) on both lettering and ‘YODO’ (i.e. You Only Die Once) on ‘death’ lettering could provide additional support for a shift of focus to ‘meaning in life’, prioritising ‘life’ over ‘death’. These acronyms are examples of the type of language adopted largely within more recent technological communication, and are arguably more synonymous with younger individuals.

A proposed youthful demographic of a proportion of the participants to this exhibition is also supported via the use of ‘emoji’ and ‘hashtag’ punctuation across both ‘life’ and ‘death’ lettering which again reflect more recent language style adopted largely within technological communications.
The hypothesis that written contributions to ‘life’ lettering would incorporate purposefulness, happiness, and self-actualisation comments is also supported by this data analysis. Those written contributions relating to ‘happiness’ were the most frequently reported category within this lettering. ‘Purposefulness’ and ‘self-actualisation’ were largely reflected within the category entitled, ‘purpose to life’. Examples include: ‘Be, all, you can possibly, be’; ‘Fullfill your life to the fullest’; ‘Life is all about people - you are who you spend time with’.  The remaining significant category within the ‘life’ lettering related to ‘Friends/Family’. Within the literature connectedness to others is subsumed within descriptions of potential purposeful activities that may provide happiness. Therefore this category provides additional support that the current focus is towards individualist ‘meaning in life’ perspectives incorporating purposefulness, happiness, and self-actualisation ideologies.

 

Contrary to our earlier hypothesis, however, neither ‘youthfulness’ nor ‘health’ were represented within the written contributions provided for the ‘life’ lettering. However, given that the demographic of the visitors to this exhibition may have included a significant proportion of young people this may explain why these categories did not feature, as the young are synonymous with ‘youthfulness’ and ‘health’, the mindfulness of which may only be encountered when these natural qualities start to ebb.
Whilst the category representing ‘unclassified’ written contributions was reflected within both the ‘life’ and ‘death’ lettering, it was significantly represented in the latter (i.e. 10% - 3 times greater representation within ‘death’ than ‘life’ lettering). Examples of these written contributions include: ‘Look out for drowning people! Lol’; ‘Pomegranete    Izzy’; ‘To enjoy your death... After all they have cookies! Eve S THS’. As these examples show, these comments are diverse and ambiguous in meaning. It could be argued that the greater frequency of this category of comments within the ‘death’ lettering reflects public ambiguity about death and dying, in line with aforementioned literature, and is therefore supportive of the hypothesis that ambiguity will be a feature within the written contributions reflecting perceptions about ‘death’.

Interestingly, however, the illustrations accompanying some of the written contributions followed more traditional categorisation, whereby ‘life’ was depicted by  ‘positivity’ (i.e. chick, happy face, smile, the sun) and ‘love’ (i.e. heart, kiss, people) whilst ‘death’ illustrations represented traditional death imagery (i.e. skull, bomb, flower, ghost), love (i.e. broken heart, heart, people) and sadness (i.e. sad face). Whilst imagery can promote universal messages and meaning, specific detail regarding such meaning can be compromised and limited by the artists’ abilities, which may explain the basic illustrations and their more traditional nature in relative comparison to the written contributions.

Conclusions

In support of the aforementioned literature, the analyses concur that the written contributions focused more so upon ‘meaning in life’ over ‘meaning of life’, suggestive of a reduced focus upon traditional/religious frameworks to support existential meaning. Further, those contributions to ‘what symbolises ‘life’’ included expected categories of: purposefulness; happiness; and self-actualisation. Similarly, those contributions to ‘what symbolises ‘death’’ included ‘ambiguity’. Contrary to our earlier hypothesis neither ‘fear’ nor ‘frailty/old age’ were representative categories within the contributions provided for the ‘death’ lettering. However, comments with more negative connotations were recorded within these contributions.

These results suggest support for the previously argued theory regarding the privatisation of death and dying and ensuing individualist perception and experience afforded death and dying. Future public engagement exercises should aim to reduce the ambiguity regarding death and dying and to find ways to initiate social discourse.

 

For more information on this analysis email amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk

Make Your Wishes Known

 

 

Whilst listening to a popular radio programme, I heard a feature that indicated the amount of organ donors has decreased for the first time in a number of years. I thought that it would be helpful to include some of the information we have recently produced and collated from a number of leading sources on organ donation. It is important to make your wishes known and to record them or you may not be able to donate, even if you want to.

 

 

Excerpts from our ‘5 Things To Do Before You Die’ booklet:

 

Modern medicine has made it possible for us to donate healthy organs and tissue to those in need after we have died. Transplants depend on the generosity of donors and their families who are willing to donate to enhance the quality of someone else’s life. It is possible that one donor can save or improve the lives of a number of people.

 

Why it is important to make a decision

Deciding whether or not to become an organ and/or tissue donor is an important personal decision. If you think this is something you would like to do, it is a good idea to add your name to the organ donor register and share your decision with close relatives or friends. If you are not registered, when you die, your next of kin will be asked whether you would have wanted to be a donor so it is essential that they understand your wishes.

 

By joining the register you are giving legal consent to the use of your organs and tissue for transplantation after your death if you are considered as a viable donor.

 

Exceptions

There are certain exceptions that may prevent you from becoming an organ donor, such as being diagnosed with HIV or CJD (a brain condition). If you have other medical conditions you can still join the register and a doctor will determine if your organs are suitable for donation. Becoming part of the register does not necessarily mean you will become a donor as this depends on the viability of the organs and circumstances of death. But the more people that join the register, the higher the chances of helping someone in need.

 

It is possible for you to specify which organs you are willing to donate if there are certain elements you are not comfortable with them taking. You must tick the appropriate boxes on the organ donor registration form or donor card in these circumstances. In the case of cornea donation there is currently an upper age limit of 80 years, and for the donation of heart valves and tendons there is an age limit of 60 years. However, there is no upper age limit for joining the register to donate other organs and tissue, viability is determined by condition.

 

You can join the NHS Organ Donor Register by:

 

• Filling in a form online at www.organdonation.nhs.uk
• Calling the NHS Donor Line on 0300 123 23 23
(lines are open 24 hours a day all year, charged at your local rate)
• Text SAVE to 62323

 

You can also join when you:

• Register for a driving license
• Register at a GP surgery
• Register for a European Health Insurance Card (EHIC)
• Apply for a Boots Advantage Card

 

Make sure your family and loved ones are aware of your decision.

 

For more in-depth information, please visit the NHS Organ Donation website listed above. There is a comprehensive list of frequently asked questions and guidance on how to join.

Dying Matters Week Review 2015

We kicked off this year’s Dying Matters Week with a ‘Memories’ event at the Marie Curie Hospice Liverpool. We invited people to share their stories of loved ones who have passed whilst sipping tea and eating cake. There were some really touching moments shared and placed on our daffodil wall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The main event took place on Thursday 21st May named ‘This Event Won’t Kill You!’ at Quaker Meeting House, where stallholders from a number of specialist fields, such as funeral planning and organ donation, provided information and advice. Alongside informative displays there were interactive pieces, such as our 4ft ‘DEATH’ lettering and popular remembrance tree.

 

 

 

 

To round off the week, our final event, ‘May Day of the Dead’ took place at the stylish Siren Café on St. James Street. This was well attended with a group discussing lost loved ones and the topics of life and death.

 

 

 

We would like to thank our members, partners and hosts, who made these events possible. And don’t forget, Talk, Plan, Live!

Launch of Dying Matters Awareness Week 2015: Talk, Plan, Live

Today is the national launch of Dying Matters Awareness Week 2015. Here in Liverpool we would like to officially introduce our awareness poster campaign and ‘5 Things To Do Before You Die’ booklet, which contains an overview of key actions you should think about taking in preparation for the future.

 

See our posters below:

 

Find out more about the booklet by viewing the ‘5 Things’ tab. Alternatively, you can download the booklet from our ‘Downloads’ page.

 

 

We have an exciting week ahead with events taking place on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday (click HERE to see what’s happening!). All of our events are free of charge, so head on down and Talk, Plan, Live!

This Year's Dying Matters Events in Liverpool

As part of Dying Matters Awareness Week (18-24 May 2015), The Bucket Project is hosting three events: ‘Memories’ at Marie Curie Hospice Liverpool; ‘This Event Won’t Kill You’ at Quaker House; and ‘May Day of the Dead Celebration’ at Siren Café.

 

The theme of Dying Matters Awareness Week 2015 is ‘Talk, Plan, Live’, an action-focused theme emphasising that we only get one chance to have our dying wishes met, which is why it’s vital to talk, plan and make arrangements for the end of life – before it’s too late. The Bucket Project will be launching their brand new ‘5 Things To Do Before You Die’ practical booklet, which covers:  

• Talking to your loved ones about end of life wishes 
• Making it legal and writing a will 
• Planning for your funeral and recording the details 
• Considering organ donation and sharing your decision 
• Thinking about your future care needs

Here are the details of the three events organised by The Bucket Project:

 

‘Memories’ – Marie Curie

Wednesday 20th May from 1-3pm

Marie Curie Hospice, Woolton, L25 8QA

 

 

We invite you to share a photograph and a story of your late loved one with a warm drink and slice of cake. We’re creating a Memory Wall for friends and families of the people cared for by Marie Curie.

 

We often tend to focus on the sadness and loss when someone dies, but it’s also good to take time to remember and celebrate the life they lived and the memories made. Members of staff and volunteers will be in attendance to listen to your stories and share some of their own.

 

‘This Event Won’t Kill You’

Thursday 21st May from 10am-5pm

Quaker House, School Lane, L1 3BT

 

 

Unique to the Northwest: open event with a range of stalls, talks, discussions and displays. Call in between 10am-5pm to find out everything you need to know about end of life and death. See the launch of our special ‘5 Things To Do Before You Die’ practical booklet along with our remembrance tree and altar, interactive DEATH lettering, Before I Die postcards and much more. Be one of the first to take part in this special event, in partnership with: Marie Curie Hospice Liverpool, Age Concern, Sahir House, Jackson Canter Quality Solicitors, Woodlands Hospice, Liverpool CCG, Co-operative Funeralcare, Child Bereavement UK, Philosophy in Pubs, Marie Curie Palliative Care Institute Liverpool, Tower Law, Liverpool CCG and Liverpool Bereavement Service.

 

‘May Day of the Dead Celebration’

Saturday 23rd May from 1-3pm

Siren Café, St James Street, L1 0AB

 

 

Toast departed loved ones and bring along a photograph of them to display on our altar, or send us one in advance and we can print it for you. Join us for free cake, drinks and conversation. A relaxed and casual event based on the Mexican tradition Dios de los Muertos (or Day of the Dead); it is typically celebrated on 1st November but we’re bringing a spring theme and hosting a ‘May Day of the Dead Celebration’. Photographs of departed loved ones will sit in decorated frames alongside colourful skulls and paper flowers. We talk about the lives of those passed and try not to focus on the sadness of our loss. The event ends with a toast, a smile and a sense of keeping their memories alive.

 

“This year, a key theme to our events is remembrance and celebrating the lives of the people we loved. Sometimes, we tend to focus on the sadness of their death and we want people to remember the happier times of their life. Our ‘Memories’ and ‘May Day of the Dead Celebration’ aim to provide a space to come together and share memories of those that have died. The open day ‘This Event Won’t Kill You’ will provide practical advice, interesting talks and creative displays and we have a number of charities, services and businesses hosting information stalls and leading a number of interesting discussions.”

 

- Rachael McKindley, Project Manager of The Bucket Project

 

For further information regarding The Bucket Project, please call Rachael McKindley on 0151 801 1488 or e-mail at: rachael.mckindley@mariecurie.org.uk. Alternatively, you can follow us on Facebook at the following address: www.facebook.com/TheBucketProject.

 

 

Impact Survey

The Bucket Project began engaging the community of Liverpool around the topic of death in 2011 and are currently funded until March 2016. As we progress, we need to develop different ways to monitor our impact and effectiveness.

If you are aware of The Bucket Project, have attended an event, picked up a newsletter or found us online - we ask you to spare 5 minutes of your time to complete our Impact Survey, either online by visiting Survey Monkey or downloading the document from our Downloads page and returning to us either by post or email.

Your 5 minutes could help us evidence the need for an engagement project like ours, which helps people become more comfortable talking about end of life and death. We can also find out what works best, and what doesn't, so we can make the best use of our time.

Thank you in advance. Even by reading this far means that The Bucket Project has reached you.

Liverpool: Events in March

Don’t miss out on these events coming up this month in Liverpool. Child Bereavement UK is hosting an open day on the 19th March from 2-6pm in Runcorn to inform people of the training and bereavement services available. See the poster below for more information.

 

 

 

On Friday 20th March, the CCG and Liverpool City Council are officially launching ‘The Dying Well Community Charter’, from 1:30-5pm. Please see the poster for further information regarding the location of the event.

 

 

 

The Bucket Project hosted a planning meeting to discuss this year’s Dying Matters Awareness Week, the theme being ‘talk, plan, live’. If you would like to get involved in the next meeting and help us keep the topic of death alive, email amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk.

 

We are proud to announce that you can now find us on Pinterest and Instagram!

Holocaust Memorial Day 2015

Image taken from hmd.org.uk

Yesterday was Holocaust Memorial Day, which marked the 70th anniversary of the liberation of the Aushwitz-Birkenau concentration camp. Candles were lit in Liverpool Town Hall every day on the run up to memorial day.

 

Not only are there events this month in remembrance of those who died during the Holocaust but people who were killed in genocides in Bosnia, Rwanda and Darfur. Across the UK people are ensuring that future generations never forget the awful persecution that so many have faced in the past. Take some time to search for events in your area and read the stories of those who were wrongly persecuted during the Holocaust. Whilst almost 6 million Jewish people were murdered in the death camps, other groups were targeted such as the disabled, political rivals and homosexuals amongst many more. Altogether almost eleven million people were murdered under the Nazi regime.

Image taken from flickr.com

This is still a significant event for many today and there is an obvious national grief. Through this grief we can educate people about the horrors populations have been subjected to in the past and in some places, are still being subjected to today. The only way to move forward is to learn from the past and never forget what happened during each of the genocides that took place.

 

There are a number of events being held this January to remember those who were lost during this time of great suffering, including a number of film screenings and talks at the Museum of Liverpool. Follow this link to find out what events are being run by the National Museums of Liverpool: http://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/events/holocaust-memorial-day-listings.aspx

 

Search online for events happening near you throughout January and February.

New Resolutions for a New Year?

Happy New Year from The Bucket Project! Hopefully you had an enjoyable time over the holidays.

 

Image from 1234newyear.com

In December I wrote a post encouraging you to visit those you care about that may be lonely or find Christmas a difficult period, as your time can often be the most valuable present. It turns out that I had to take my own advice over the holidays after an unexpected bereavement in the family. Admittedly, I was nervous before approaching the difficult and sometimes awkward conversation of ‘giving my condolences’. What do you say? What don’t you say? Whilst there might be obvious choices that would not be appropriate in that particular situation, your presence and a listening ear can really provide reassurance and some consolation.

 

I realise more than ever, the importance of being inquisitive and asking questions about your loved one’s lives or upbringing. A year ago I suggested creating a ‘Memory Book’ together with your family or children to record special events and memorable moments, you can view it HERE. Whilst this is a fabulous way of making new memories, why not give older loved ones a book where they can tell their story? You can buy pre-made examples online from a number of sources or you can personalise your own with questions such as:

 

• How did you feel when I was born?
• Tell me about a memorable Christmas in your childhood.
• What was school like?

 

Any of these questions will give you an insight in to the lives of close friends and family prior to your relationship with them. Often people have so many interesting stories to tell, which would be lovely to keep as a reminder of them after they have passed.

 

wanderingamericantravelblog.com

Maybe this year when making resolutions, we could think about those we care about a little more. Instead of changing aesthetical aspects of ourselves such as losing weight, we think about a change on the inside. How about making a conscious effort to consider ways we can help others, such as picking up shopping for an elderly friend or spending an hour with someone we love.

 

I hope that 2015 is a happy and prosperous year for everyone and that people can find the strength and support they need when difficult times arise.

 

If you have been struggling to cope with bereavement or grief, below are some websites you may find helpful:

Dying Matters
Macmillan
Marie Curie

The Perfect Present

Image from loriannfranks.wordpress.com

At this time each year, everyone is searching for that elusive ‘perfect present’. They want to spoil their loved ones with the latest must-haves and make Christmas special. But maybe the greatest gift you could give this year can’t be bought in a shop – your time. Why not take the time to visit a relative, friend or neighbour who is alone this Christmas. Or pop in to see how someone who has been bereaved is feeling, they could probably do with some support or a listening ear at this difficult time.

 

Sometimes the most meaningful gifts won’t be found under the tree, but could be a much needed phone call or a chat over coffee. A number of people close to me find Christmas a particularly difficult holiday due to recent and not so recent bereavements. We should remember that grief isn’t something that magically disappears and family-oriented holidays can make it all the more prominent, even after years have passed.

 

Image from hbbscounselling.org

Many people don’t know how to talk to someone who is experiencing bereavement and can avoid speaking about the subject altogether as they don’t want to upset or offend that person. It can be daunting but maybe this Christmas we can start a conversation with a person who very much needs it and put our fears aside. Spending time with a loved one can be more rewarding than any gadget or game, so make memories while you can and keep in mind that even the strongest of us need support at times.

 

The Bucket Project would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. If you are struggling to cope with bereavement there are a number of websites you can visit for advice, listed below:

Dying Matters
Macmillan
Marie Curie

 

In Flanders fields the poppies blow…

Image taken from p2p.biplin.com

Tomorrow is the 96th Anniversary of the end of the First World War and thousands of people across the country have already paid their respects through attending services and memorials on Remembrance Sunday. Being the Centenary, 100 years since the start of WWI, it feels even more poignant to remember those who gave their lives to protect the world that we live in today.

 

In 1918 on the 11th November, the eleventh month, an Armistice was signed between Britain and Germany, effectively ending the First World War with a ceasefire at eleven o’clock. It is hard to imagine the suffering of not only those who fought in the war, but the families who lost loved ones, often more than one. There are still people today who grieve the loss of the brave men and women who are fighting in conflicts abroad and they will certainly be in our thoughts tomorrow too. 

 

A Beautiful Remembrance Sunday service was held yesterday in Liverpool City Centre at the Cenotaph, with a parade of ex-servicemen marching and applauded by the crowd. It was wonderful to see so many people show their respects and gather together as a community to support each other in their loss and grief, whether personal or on a national scale. One of the most emotional and striking moments was the release of thousands of red poppies from St Georges Hall, cascading down over the crowd. They represented all the lives lost in World War One, which really put in to perspective the loss of life on such a large scale. It is no wonder we can often find it difficult to talk about death when generations before us lost so many people close to them.

 

Poppies released from St George's Hall

 

Many families will have been directly affected by the World Wars with some even having parents and grandparents who fought. My Great-Grandfather was born in 1899, and fought in the First World War. In May 1918, at the age of 19 he was captured at the 3rd Battle of Aisne, in France. Presumed missing or dead, his family were informed and I can only imagine the pain and heartache felt by his Mother in that moment. In this case, he managed to survive and made it home in 1919, but for many others this was not the outcome. As I have mentioned, for some this is their reality today, waiting for news and hoping this isn’t the day that their world falls apart. Please spare two minutes tomorrow and keep past and present families and servicemen and women in your thoughts.

 

My Great-Grandfather Stanley Charles Hayward 1899-1985

 

There is a short service at the Cenotaph in Liverpool City Centre tomorrow, November 11th at 11am for two minutes silence. We will never forget.

 

Image taken from liverpoolecho.co.uk

 

 

Day of the Dead Celebration

Autumn is already upon us, with Halloween fast approaching! Not only is Halloween a celebrated event for many people but Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead is too. In Mexico people celebrate the Day of the Dead between October 31st and November 2nd and take this time to remember loved ones who have died. There are musical tributes and altars are set up containing colourful flowers, festive foods and photos of the deceased. This is a social time for many people who gather at gravesides to share stories and celebrate the lives of their family and friends.

Day of the Dead Altar
Image taken from gomexico.about.com

Many countries around the world now celebrate a Day of the Dead inspired event with the popular imagery of decorated skulls and bright colours. This is a direct contrast to the typical imagery associated with death and loss, usually black or dark colours and a sombre atmosphere. This celebration encourages people to celebrate the lives of those who are no longer with us and keep their ‘spirits’ alive through telling stories and bringing family and friends together.

Day of the Dead Skulls
Image from lamariposaimports.com

The Bucket Project would like to invite you to our very own Day of the Dead Celebration on Sunday 2nd November. Join us at Maya Bar (below Lucha Libre) between 4 and 6pm for a tequila toast to our departed loved ones in honour of Dia de los Muertos. Bring along a picture of them to display on our specially designed altar and participate in a Dead Good Game of Cards. This event is completely free and we welcome anyone to attend. Please see the contact details at the bottom of this post to confirm your place!

 

You can find Maya Bar (below Lucha Libre) on the map below: 



96 Wood Street, Liverpool, L1 4DQ

 Book your place now by emailing amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk , alternatively you can phone 0151 801 1444 or message The Bucket Project on Facebook or Twitter.

End of Year Three!

It has been a while since I last wrote a blog, here at The Bucket Project we have been busy organising events for the Autumn season from introducing our new ‘Death du Jour’ session to planning a fabulous Day of the Dead celebration. The details of these events will be posted here and on social media closer to the time.

 

At long last, we would like to present our End of Year Three Project Report. You can find out exactly what we have been up to over 2013 and 2014, from a Halloween Death Café, to a jam packed Dying Matters Awareness Week in May. The report is now available on the ‘Downloads’ page of the blog and is an interesting read.

 

 

 

If you like what you see and would be interested in becoming a member of The Bucket Project, email amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk. We will keep you regularly updated with the latest planned events and news, so get involved and help keep the topic of death alive!