Journeys and Developments

I am pleased to announce we will soon be launching a new page on the blog, which will feature guest reviews of films, books and events with themes regarding death, dying and loss. If you would like to get involved and have your review featured, email your name and review to Amy.King@mariecurie.org.uk or contact us via Facebook or Twitter. 

Image from abucketlist.com

We have also recently uploaded our ‘Attitudes toward Death, Dying and Loss’ survey to the blog, which you can find under ‘Downloads’ or fill in online by clicking HERE.

As you may know, yesterday was Holocaust Memorial Day. People across the country attended events in remembrance of the persecution of Jewish and other communities by Nazi Germany in the Second World War. They also gathered to remember the 20th anniversary of the genocide that took place in Bosnia in 1994. 

The national theme this year was Journeys. There are millions of individuals who were affected by the holocaust and each of them had their own experiences and journeys through horrific times. It is important for future generations to remember and recognise that these events can never happen again. However, there is still discrimination and injustice happening in the world every day, which we should remember not only on a designated date but all year round.

Image from www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

The Museum of Liverpool hosted a special day of events to mark the Holocaust Memorial on Sunday 26th January. Although this event has been and gone, year round you can explore Jewish Community history in Liverpool through a self-led trail around the museum.

What did you do for Holocaust Memorial Day? Let us know at @Bucket_Project

Goodbye Hayley

Image from www.thesun.co.uk

There have been mixed reviews regarding Monday night’s emotional final farewell to one of Coronation Street’s long-standing characters, Hayley Cropper. The storyline has been played out over the last few months, capturing the hearts of viewers nationwide and covering a number of sensitive issues. 

Watching Soaps has become a normal and daily occurrence in many households, with people forming emotional bonds with beloved characters. This is one factor that has really made the storyline hit home. However, many people have lost someone dear or have had some experience with terminal illness and the effects this can have on not only the afflicted, but their loved ones too, making the last episode particularly difficult to watch.

Image from digitalspy.co.uk

Whether you agree or disagree with the topics raised, the show has managed to spark debate regarding sensitive and often controversial issues, creating an open forum for death, dying and loss to be discussed. 

What did you think about this storyline and how it was dealt with? Let us know at @Bucket_Project.

New Year, Old Memories

Image from www.juniorathletics.co.uk

Happy New Year from The Bucket Project! My name is Amy King and I am the new Administrative Assistant at Marie Curie Hospice, Liverpool. 

The celebration of a new year has been around since ancient times, with the first recorded celebration thought to date back to 4,000 years ago! Cultures around the world mark the beginning of a new year with their own individual rituals and events, from eating a specific food to setting off fireworks. One of the most recognised traditions here in Britain is to make ‘resolutions’, often regarding self-improvement from losing weight to quitting smoking. However, the hectic lives we lead today are encouraging people to spend more time with their families and friends. Recent personal events have showed me that making memories are just as important as recording them to remember and share in the future.

As you can imagine, I am thrilled to be embarking upon this journey with The Bucket Project and I am eager to meet new faces at our future events this year. Joining the team has made me realise that life is also a journey and can be an exciting one at that. Whilst creating a bucket list is fantastic, it is worth taking a moment to reflect on the experiences you have already had. Writing a memory book can be a great way to capture the important events that have happened in your life and share them with the future generations of your family.

Image from www.temptationgifts.com

Memory books are one option for storing memories and are available to buy online or in high street stores. These are great for working through with family and friends and if you have a creative side why not attempt to make a personalised book including photos and other special memorabilia? If you’re looking for inspiration, here are some starting points:

• What is your earliest childhood memory?

• What fashion style was popular when you were younger?

• Did you have a favourite song? What is your favourite now?

The possibilities are endless and this is a unique way to pass on your memories to your loved ones, which can stay with them after you are gone. So why not make writing a memory book one of your resolutions this year? What other resolutions have you made? Tell us at @Bucket_Project.

Origins of Halloween

This time of year has always had an air of mystery, magic and superstition; and ceremonies remembering the dead have been celebrated for thousands of years.

All Hallows' Eve is more commonly known as Halloween. It precedes All Hallows' Day, also known as All Saints' Day, on 1st November and All Souls Day on 2nd November. These dates hold a special significance across a variety of cultures throughout the world, as the veil between the worlds of the living and the dead is thought to be at its thinnest.

Halloween originates from pagan celebrations connected to harvests and seasons. The Celts and Druids celebrated Samhain on November 1st but the celebrations started at sunset on the eve of Samhain. Come sunset on 31st October, families would extinguish fires within the home and indulge in a "fall" cleaning to make way for the new season. Samhain was a harvest festival that was celebrated at the end of summer and commemorated the cycles of life. People would then gather to light huge bonfires to burn crops and animal sacrifices to the gods, in the hope that the sun would return and their crops would be plentiful.

Christians would carve jack-o-lanterns out of turnips to remember souls trapped in purgatory. It was recorded in 1837 that American colonies used pumpkins as a replacement to the tough turnips that the British used. This is a tradition that still lasts today, but how many of us know why we carve them?

Even the tradition of "bobbing for apples" is connected to harvest time and superstition, much like the pumpkins and turnips we how carve for fun. Apples were thought to represent fertility and many believed they could help predict their future love.

Image by Kim Fearheiley www.fineartamerica.com

It is believed that the boundaries between the living and the dead are thinner on All Hallows' Eve. People would often disguise themselves with costumes to hide from malevolent spirits out to cause harm or to signify the release of souls trapped in the physical World.

Today, we tend to dress up for slightly more fun and commercial reasons, with children playing trick-or-treat for sweets or gifts. Have we forgotten the spiritual side to Halloween, or do we remember it in the traditions we still follow?

Since Halloween is the day when most people are discussing death, often in a fun way, we're planning our first Death Cafe at the Brink on 31st October from 5.30pm - 7.30pm. There'll be a free slice of cake, a hot beverage and interesting conversation.

Death Cafe Liverpool

Death Cafe - Halloween 2013

We are proud to announce that The Bucket Project will be hosting Liverpool's first Death Cafe at the Brink, Parr Street, L1 4JN on 31st October 2013.

The objective of a Death Cafe is to increase awareness of death, with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives. It is based on an idea thought up by Bernard Crettaz, a Swiss sociologist who set up Cafe Mortels. His idea has since spread across the globe, evidencing a very real need for a place and opportunity for people to open up and talk about death. 

We will provide a comfortable place to relax and talk, with a hot beverage and a slice of cake. Our Death Cafe takes place at the Brink, which is Liverpool's first "dry pub." The Brink are known for their creative, community approach and put on a wide range of amusing, entertaining, educational and inspirational events - with the Death Cafe being just one of them!

The Brink, Parr Street, L1 4JN

Death Cafe is now an established social franchise that has reached over 3000 participants in around 300 separate Death Cafes all over the world. They are purely run on a voluntary basis by Jon Underwood in East London. He organised the first one in the UK, facilitated by his mum, psychotherapist Sue Barsky Reid, in his own home. It was hugely successful and has grown massively since 2011. You can find more information on Death Cafes by clicking here or have a look at our very own Death Cafe Liverpool page.

Feedback from previous Death Cafes have stated that the experience was "enriching" and "as far from gloom and doom as could be possible." We're hoping to replicate this in Liverpool on Halloween 2013. You can drop in any time from 5.30-7.30pm, but we would suggest arriving at the start to benefit from the whole experience. There will be free hot drinks, a slice of cake and a warm welcome. It's not often you get the opportunity to sit down and have an open conversation about death with other people who want to do the same.

Free cake at our Death Cafe!

So, if you haven't already, you should start making your plans for Halloween 2013. If you're interested in coming along to our Death Cafe and taking part in a global initiative, please email: rachael.mckindley@mariecurie.org.uk. Fancy dress is optional, but encouraged, since we're celebrating All Hallow's Eve, and there may be a prize for the best dressed! It's all free and you'll be among the first to participate in Liverpool's first Death Cafe. So pop in for a cuppa, cake and conversation.

Thank you to Ryan Spence at Five Mil Bleed for producing our Death Cafe Liverpool poster and to Terry McKindley for helping to get the creative juices flowing in the design process.

The Privilege of Preparing For Death

33 year old Rowena Darby has already written out a card for all of her son’s future birthdays and Christmases, his graduation and for his wedding.

She has terminal cancer, and said that she has no interest in creating a bucket list of things to achieve before she dies; she just wants to be a good mum to her son Freddie.

Rowena was bored in hospital whilst having her treatment, so went to a craft fair with her mum. She ended up buying a kit and making bracelets which she now sells for £10 apiece to save money to take her son on holiday. She then started to make all of the cards, which span right through all of his future birthdays and Christmases and even include his future wedding and graduation. She is also planning to compile a book of all the emails she has written to him.

Rowena has a very humbling view on her terminal diagnosis. “I’m privileged that I can prepare for my death - if I was in a car crash there would be none of these memories for Freddie.

“When I die it’s going to be awful for my family but at least they know it’s going to happen and because of this we’ve had the best quality time together beforehand.

“I know a lot of people in my situation create a bucket list but I just want to be a mum and do normal stuff with my son.

“There is nowhere I want to go - I just want to have a normal life with no regrets.”

Her view that she is privileged to be able to prepare for her own death is extremely inspiring. Part of our project is to encourage people to realise that we are all going to die and that we should all be preparing for death; but preparing for a death that one knows is imminent is a very different experience.

If you received a terminal diagnosis, how would you prepare for your death? Would you want to cross off the items on your bucket list, prepare your family for a future without you like Rowena, or something else all together? Let us know on Facebook, Twitter or email us.

"Death is a Graduation"

It is with a heavy heart that I (Lucy) am writing this blog to tell you that I am leaving The Bucket Project.

Not because I particularly want to, or because I found something better, may I hasten to add! 

I absolutely love this project and I love my job, so it feels a bit counterintuitive to have to leave so soon, but an opportunity cropped up that I just could not refuse. I have wanted to be a teacher for many years, but haven't felt quite ready or confident enough to go for it in the past. I have blossomed quite a bit in my short but sweet period of time with the Bucket Project, which in turn gave me the confidence to apply for teaching one last time. I was offered a place to start this September, and after much deliberation I decided to go for it. I've got a place at Edge Hill University to do a Primary PGCE specialising in English. I'm also hoping to incorporate music in there somehow too as I'm a musician and music graduate, so I'd like to be that crazy teacher who does ukulele maths games and makes the kids sing their spellings!

If there's one thing working for this project has taught me, it's that you're never too young to make the most of life. Our project advocates planning for your death, but I also think we advocate planning for your life too - go and tick off that bucket list of yours! That's what I'm going to do. I would have loved to stay longer and perhaps put my teaching off until next year, but it was one of those things where if I didn't do it now, my courage might have disappeared again. I've always liked the above Elisabeth Kubler-Ross quote, and thought it was quite apt considering this time next year I will be hopefully be graduating again!

It means that my job is now available to apply for. If you are looking for an administrative post with a rather large dash of creativity involved, this may be for you! You can view the job online on Marie Curie's recruitment website. Since I've been here, I've set up this blog and tried to build up our social networking engagement, so it would be fabulous if the person who replaced me could carry that on and improve it even more. There are also lots of projects and events coming up to plan, so there's lots of fun to be had too. It's a fantastic job, a very worthwhile project and a lovely work environment - I couldn't recommend it enough.

I'm here until the end of August, so there will be a few more blog posts and suchlike from me until I take myself off to learn how to teach little people!