The Perfect Present

Image from loriannfranks.wordpress.com

At this time each year, everyone is searching for that elusive ‘perfect present’. They want to spoil their loved ones with the latest must-haves and make Christmas special. But maybe the greatest gift you could give this year can’t be bought in a shop – your time. Why not take the time to visit a relative, friend or neighbour who is alone this Christmas. Or pop in to see how someone who has been bereaved is feeling, they could probably do with some support or a listening ear at this difficult time.

 

Sometimes the most meaningful gifts won’t be found under the tree, but could be a much needed phone call or a chat over coffee. A number of people close to me find Christmas a particularly difficult holiday due to recent and not so recent bereavements. We should remember that grief isn’t something that magically disappears and family-oriented holidays can make it all the more prominent, even after years have passed.

 

Image from hbbscounselling.org

Many people don’t know how to talk to someone who is experiencing bereavement and can avoid speaking about the subject altogether as they don’t want to upset or offend that person. It can be daunting but maybe this Christmas we can start a conversation with a person who very much needs it and put our fears aside. Spending time with a loved one can be more rewarding than any gadget or game, so make memories while you can and keep in mind that even the strongest of us need support at times.

 

The Bucket Project would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. If you are struggling to cope with bereavement there are a number of websites you can visit for advice, listed below:

Dying Matters
Macmillan
Marie Curie

 

In Flanders fields the poppies blow…

Image taken from p2p.biplin.com

Tomorrow is the 96th Anniversary of the end of the First World War and thousands of people across the country have already paid their respects through attending services and memorials on Remembrance Sunday. Being the Centenary, 100 years since the start of WWI, it feels even more poignant to remember those who gave their lives to protect the world that we live in today.

 

In 1918 on the 11th November, the eleventh month, an Armistice was signed between Britain and Germany, effectively ending the First World War with a ceasefire at eleven o’clock. It is hard to imagine the suffering of not only those who fought in the war, but the families who lost loved ones, often more than one. There are still people today who grieve the loss of the brave men and women who are fighting in conflicts abroad and they will certainly be in our thoughts tomorrow too. 

 

A Beautiful Remembrance Sunday service was held yesterday in Liverpool City Centre at the Cenotaph, with a parade of ex-servicemen marching and applauded by the crowd. It was wonderful to see so many people show their respects and gather together as a community to support each other in their loss and grief, whether personal or on a national scale. One of the most emotional and striking moments was the release of thousands of red poppies from St Georges Hall, cascading down over the crowd. They represented all the lives lost in World War One, which really put in to perspective the loss of life on such a large scale. It is no wonder we can often find it difficult to talk about death when generations before us lost so many people close to them.

 

Poppies released from St George's Hall

 

Many families will have been directly affected by the World Wars with some even having parents and grandparents who fought. My Great-Grandfather was born in 1899, and fought in the First World War. In May 1918, at the age of 19 he was captured at the 3rd Battle of Aisne, in France. Presumed missing or dead, his family were informed and I can only imagine the pain and heartache felt by his Mother in that moment. In this case, he managed to survive and made it home in 1919, but for many others this was not the outcome. As I have mentioned, for some this is their reality today, waiting for news and hoping this isn’t the day that their world falls apart. Please spare two minutes tomorrow and keep past and present families and servicemen and women in your thoughts.

 

My Great-Grandfather Stanley Charles Hayward 1899-1985

 

There is a short service at the Cenotaph in Liverpool City Centre tomorrow, November 11th at 11am for two minutes silence. We will never forget.

 

Image taken from liverpoolecho.co.uk

 

 

Celebration Success!

Our Day of the Dead Altar @ Maya

The Day of the Dead Celebration on Sunday was a fantastic success. A number of wonderful people turned up with beautiful photographs of loved ones they have lost. They placed them on our altar surrounded by flowers and food offerings to celebrate and share stories of their departed loved one’s lives.

 

Some of the beautiful photos brought by attendees to the celebration

 

Once everyone became acquainted and enjoyed the delicious food at Maya and our homemade cookies and cupcakes, we each chose a card from our Dead Good deck of cards. Images on the cards relate to a subject surrounding death, dying and loss which people presented their interpretations of and shared personal experiences with the group.

 

It was inspiring to listen to the stories of people who have dealt with such loss and grief but manage to bring a positive and heart-warming outlook through sharing touching memories of those they have lost. Part of a discussion I was involved in brought up an interesting point about how uncomfortable people can feel when remembering funny instances and events in a deceased person’s life; that it is somehow disrespectful to speak about these moments. However, more than one member expressed that sometimes wit and comedy were at the heart of the loved one’s personality and pushing aside these memories is denying a part of who the person was.

 

Some of our lovely attendees

Day of the Dead teaches us that whilst we are hit with tremendous grief at the loss of someone close, through sharing stories, we can keep their memories alive and remember how they touched our lives.

 

At the end of the celebration, we all shared a tequila toast to the loved ones who have passed. In that moment it was comforting to know that whilst all of our experiences with death are unique and individual to us, we all experience it in one way or another.

 

Tequila toast

 

The Bucket Project would like to thank everyone who attended the celebration.

Day of the Dead Celebration

Autumn is already upon us, with Halloween fast approaching! Not only is Halloween a celebrated event for many people but Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead is too. In Mexico people celebrate the Day of the Dead between October 31st and November 2nd and take this time to remember loved ones who have died. There are musical tributes and altars are set up containing colourful flowers, festive foods and photos of the deceased. This is a social time for many people who gather at gravesides to share stories and celebrate the lives of their family and friends.

Day of the Dead Altar
Image taken from gomexico.about.com

Many countries around the world now celebrate a Day of the Dead inspired event with the popular imagery of decorated skulls and bright colours. This is a direct contrast to the typical imagery associated with death and loss, usually black or dark colours and a sombre atmosphere. This celebration encourages people to celebrate the lives of those who are no longer with us and keep their ‘spirits’ alive through telling stories and bringing family and friends together.

Day of the Dead Skulls
Image from lamariposaimports.com

The Bucket Project would like to invite you to our very own Day of the Dead Celebration on Sunday 2nd November. Join us at Maya Bar (below Lucha Libre) between 4 and 6pm for a tequila toast to our departed loved ones in honour of Dia de los Muertos. Bring along a picture of them to display on our specially designed altar and participate in a Dead Good Game of Cards. This event is completely free and we welcome anyone to attend. Please see the contact details at the bottom of this post to confirm your place!

 

You can find Maya Bar (below Lucha Libre) on the map below: 



96 Wood Street, Liverpool, L1 4DQ

 Book your place now by emailing amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk , alternatively you can phone 0151 801 1444 or message The Bucket Project on Facebook or Twitter.

Death du Jour: Logo Design

Can you help us out? We are piloting a brand new and exciting event named ‘Death du Jour’, where we use our specially created ‘death cards’ to start conversations around death, dying and loss. Currently, we are in the process of designing a logo for Death du Jour and want to know what you think. Does the logo fit with the theme? What could our strap line be?

 

Below are two examples of proposed logos that we will be putting to a designer. Which is the most effective? How could it be improved? Do you have a different idea entirely? Let us know by commenting on Facebook, replying on Twitter or emailing us directly at amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk.

Here is a stopwatch themed logo:

An alternative cog themed design:

 

 

Get in touch and let us know what you think, bad or good. We want people to know what kind of event this is through the logo and strap line. Would you attend a Death du Jour event? 

 

End of Year Three!

It has been a while since I last wrote a blog, here at The Bucket Project we have been busy organising events for the Autumn season from introducing our new ‘Death du Jour’ session to planning a fabulous Day of the Dead celebration. The details of these events will be posted here and on social media closer to the time.

 

At long last, we would like to present our End of Year Three Project Report. You can find out exactly what we have been up to over 2013 and 2014, from a Halloween Death Café, to a jam packed Dying Matters Awareness Week in May. The report is now available on the ‘Downloads’ page of the blog and is an interesting read.

 

 

 

If you like what you see and would be interested in becoming a member of The Bucket Project, email amy.king@mariecurie.org.uk. We will keep you regularly updated with the latest planned events and news, so get involved and help keep the topic of death alive!

O Captain, My Captain…

Image from forevermagicmovies.blogspot.com

Many people will have awoken today to find out the upsetting news that actor Robin Williams has died. After suffering bouts of depression, it is suspected that he took his own life in his Californian home yesterday morning. He leaves behind a wife and three children, who our hearts go out to at this difficult time.

 

Robin Williams was best known for his superb talent in acting, allowing him to assume a wide variety of roles, capturing audiences around the world. Some of his most notable and memorable works are Good Will Hunting, Dead Poet’s Society and Mrs. Doubtfire, no doubt favourites of many a family. He was an actor that inspired many people through the characters he played, bringing a certain unique charm that filled you with hope and warmth.

 

Is it odd that we mourn celebrities that we have never personally met? This death will certainly affect a number of people whose only connection with him is watching a film through a television screen. It seems those we so regularly invite into our homes through a film or series become akin to that of extended family. We are also reminded that no one is immune to death, grief and loss, it happens to everyone, even the celebrities we so often idolise. I certainly haven’t escaped without shedding a tear for an actor I have grown up watching, an actor who has contributed to the shaping of my childhood through his portrayal of the genie in Aladdin, to Alan Parrish in Jumanji.

 

Image from cineplex.com

Much like talking about death is a taboo, talking about mental health is somewhat of a taboo in our society as well. Often when people need help the most, they are unsure who to turn to, but there are a number of UK charities that can support people suffering from a wide range of issues. ‘Mind’ is a nationwide service that provides advice, information and support for individuals and families regarding mental health. You can visit their website HERE.

 

There has been an outpouring of grief and remembrance on Twitter over the last 24 hours, with #RobinWilliams and #depression being in the top 10 trending hash tags. He was a kind-hearted man who inspired us in so many ways and will surely be missed by all of those who knew him.